Is Jesus a third wheel in your marriage?

When I first started this blog, I thought, “My target audience is definitely going to be young wives!” because, well, that’s what I am. Duh. So obvious. If you’re interested in marriage posts, I have also written about a few of the life lessons marriage has taught me in the first year. The excitement, the over the moon happiness, and the feeling of absolute freedom in wondering: What’s next for us? when first married was an amazing feeling.

I don’t think Stuart and I ever told anyone about an experience we had at the airport for our honeymoon. We were in a restaurant ordering a meal to plump our bellies before our flight. For some reason, the woman sitting next to us kept peaking over curiously.

She eventually said to us something along the lines of, “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I can feel a really strong spiritual presence around you… and that God wants you to know that you are blessed and that your marriage is blessed. You are a picture of God!” She then bought us a yummy appetizer.

Is Jesus a third wheel in your marriage?

Is Jesus a third wheel in your marriage?

Marriage is a blessing

I was over the moon. It was affirming to know God is blessing our marriage. It was also exciting to experience God speaking to us through a complete stranger. Losing sight of that fact is too easy in the hum drum of life, especially when God isn’t spelling it out in such a loud way as he did on that day for us!

However, the other day in the car Stuart and I were having a conversation about our relationship with God in the things we are doing at work and in our lives. (This was between singing together loudly and terribly, as we do).

Suddenly I felt God speaking right to my heart:

Why are you treating me like I’m not as much a part of this relationship as the two of you?

I had an ah-ha! moment so clear that it was like the day at the airport. God spelled it out for me in a way I could understand. Just as you and I are one with God in Spirit, so too are Stuart and I as a married unit ministering to one another and others.

We are in a relationship with Jesus, not just apart from each other as individuals but as a couple. Jesus is the bridegroom of his people. He is the model by which Stuart and I mold our earthly marriage in loving and delighting in one another, sympathizing in each other’s struggles, and nourishing and cherishing one another. 

But He isn’t a set of principles. He is the living, active God that is a participant in our marriage in the same way that we both are.

Isaiah 54:5: For your Maker is your husband, the LORD of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.

My message today is that Jesus is equally the cornerstone and bridegroom of every healthy Christian marriage.

Is Jesus a third wheel in your marriage?

Do you treat Him as a safety net to fall back on when life’s issues arise? Or actively seek his guidance and wisdom for important conversations and decisions in the way one would with their husband? He is the ultimate Wonderful Counselor and Prince of Peace. So move over, because Jesus doesn’t want to be the third wheel in your marriage and he won’t accept your back seat driving. He wants to be front and center; head of the marriage, cornerstone of the marriage, bridegroom of the marriage.

Jesus is the bridegroom

John 3:29-30: The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore this joy of mine is now complete. He must increase, but I must decrease.

Ephesians 5:25-27: Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

I’ll leave you with this: Jesus is simultaneously the husband and bridegroom while also being the foundation. He walks before us and beside us. We don’t walk blindly in our marriage with Jesus as our cornerstone. I don’t know about you, but understanding God as a both a leader and a participant in my marriage gives me the utmost confidence! We can walk with confidence in his counsel and provision, both in our marriage and as individuals.

Jeremiah 17:7: But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him.

Amen.

6 thoughts on “Is Jesus a third wheel in your marriage?

  1. Great post, I started my blog in July of this year and my first topic was marriage. My husband is not in a relationship with Jesus, but thanks to Gods grace I can still share my life with both my Husband and Jesus. It’s hard sometimes but it is always worth it.

    1. Thank you, Mari! I can imagine that must be a struggle for you. Thank goodness for God’s grace and mercy! I pray God is working on your husband so that you can share the faith together. Bless you and your marriage!

      Blessings,

      Rachel x

  2. I think it’s really easy to make Jesus the third wheel. We do it more than we think and not just in marriages but in life. We forget that without Jesus the equation is incomplete, we’re incomplete. Our relationship with him should be the foundation of our lives, relationships, and choices.

    1. Hi, Lo! Thank you for the comment and I completely agree. Jesus be the center!

  3. WOW!!!!!
    This is so true and I never even thought of it that way. Jesus IS just as much of a participant in our marriage as the husband and the wife. What a clear picture! Thank you for sharing this beautiful lesson God taught you to give clarity to more people of the beauty of marriage with Him IN IT! ❤️

    1. Thank you so much, Kaitlin! I’m so glad you liked it and that it connected with you. When I was writing it I was worried that it was babbling that wouldn’t make any sense or that I wouldn’t do the message justice, but you have affirmed for me that the message was perfectly clear! Bless you 🙂

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